The Dharma Room

So I've met my goal of meditating for 90 days...and....

...well, nothing's really different!    I mean I have a much greater awareness of my emotions, my place in this world, and I am able to put things into perspective much quicker than I ever used to.  I have been able to touch the divine center and experience a peace like I had never experienced before and am ever grateful for that!

What I mean by saying "nothing's really different" is that life is really still the same.  There are days of challenges and days filled with great joy.  I still cry some days, shout out in anger or laugh hysterically at other days...I just have a greater awareness and can appreciate and accept it all!  And I think that has been my greatest gift!

At the outset of this challege, I think I had some expectations that I would somehow become "enlightened" or find that I experienced the Transcendent much more often and that life would be infinitely easier...HA!  What I find is that I am learning that even in meditation, there is no end-goal.  Life is a constant unfolding of experiences and we enjoy some of them, others...not so much, but in the end we learn that it is, at its essence, a creative process.  And if we can give ourselves loving-kindness for all the "coloring outside the lines" and the rough drafts, then we can REALLY start to enjoy life for what it is...a work of art IN PROGRESS. 

I am currently reading a beautiful book entitled "Big Mind, Big Heart" by Genpo Roshi.  His message has resonated with me on a deep level and corroborates with my experience in meditation.  That we are spiritual beings choosing to have a human experience.  Meditation is not something we do in order to discard our human nature and frailties, or to escape the difficulties in life.  Meditation is a constant, joyful reminder that we are ALL of it...and its ALL GOOD.  Its a radical and peaceful acceptance of what is, which doesn't sound like much, but as someone who has tried to find acceptance of her self throughout her life by searching outside and inside, it is a weight lifted off my shoulders to finally know...I am accepted, always have been, always will be and there is immense peace in that.   Life is for learning, unfolding, discovering, changing, molding, creating...every breath is a new moment.!  

And it's as simple as that!

Love, light and peace to all,

Angie

Its been 70 consecutive days that I've been meditating every morning.  No doubt if you've talked with me during this time, you know that I have been singing the praises of meditation practice to anyone who will hear.  I feel that I am much calmer, have much more awareness of my emotions, and can access them and process them with greater ease and less judgement.  I feel that I have gained a ever-pervading sense of serenity that infuses my days.  And, dare I say it, a sense of clarity!

Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the meditation cushion...when you get to feeling so good for a long period of time, there comes a moment when life reminds you that your "HUMAN" and you feel like you've stumbled back a few steps.  I'll spare you the details of what happened, but suffice it to say, I lost my sense of calm and confidence for a few days and thought to myself..."What the heck?  I've been MEDITATING for crying out loud!  This isn't supposed to be happening to me anymore!" 

Oh yes, but it is!  I cannot forget that I am human and am learning every day, every moment to put these universal principles to work in my life.  Some situations will be easy, some...not so much.  And that is life.  Period. 

So what's the point of meditating?  The BIG point is that I could let my inner light be completely clouded over by these experiences and live from a place of darkness and doubt.  With my own personal example, I take a look back at how I would have handled the same situation years ago, and indeed there is a stark difference.  I could have easily allowed myself to not only let my emotions drive my actions, but in examining my meditation practice, I could have easily scolded myself for "failing" and rode the downward spiral to despair.

But now, its different.  I can look at my emotions, even watch them happen without judgement and then quickly reroute myself to a higher vibration.  I can immediately ask "What am I feeling?  Is it anything other than the best?  If so, what do I need to do to raise myself up?"  I then take appropriate action (or inaction, as the case may be) and move on to the next NOW moment.  And in the end...here's the bonus...I can be thankful for the experience!  Ever grateful that I get to live this life, learn, grow, recreate myself and come closer and closer to the realization of the Universal Divinity in everything.

So, what good is a meditation practice?  Infinite Good!!

Its interesting how I've been able to continue my daily meditation practice so effortlessly now that it has become as essential as brushing my teeth (and with far more health benefits)....and yet, there are still those days that I wonder if I'm making any progress.  Oh sure, I'm up to 30 minutes each morning, and many mornings I find myself slipping comfortably in between the gaps of my thoughts and finding space and peace that is all-pervading.

And then there are the "Mondays" of my meditation practice...the cats yowling and scratching at the door, or crawling all over me, the incessant thoughts of worry and doubt, the replaying in my mind of human mistakes made, the wild imagination of disasters that could be, etc. etc.  Some days my mind are like an unruly child just screaming for attention, so how do I best respond?

I think I am learning that:

(1)  Giving in emotionally to a demanding monkey mind will only train it to continue its wild antics even longer the next time in order to get my attention. 

(2)  Harsh scolding is not an option either.

(3)  Simply having a non-judgemental awareness and bathing the mind in the calm breath seems to work the best for calming it quickly.

and (4)  I now know why they call it a meditation "practice"!

James Arthur Ray, author of Harmonic Wealth, recently talked about how its not good enough to simply practice positive and empowering thoughts once a week or even once a day.  If we are to truly manifest change in our lives, we must be diligent in our practice until it becomes mastery.  Will it take a long time to do so?  Certainly!  But we owe it to ourselves, others, and the world to make the commitment to practice as often as possible.

How many of us have commented that "we miss yoga" when we have been away for a few days or even a few weeks.  Certainly there will be situations that arise that will warrant us being away...and yet, do we find that our practice falters?  And what benefit will receive if we are only practicing half-heartedly?  This is not about pushing beyond our limits, its simply about committing to the practice, committing to making mistakes and learning from them, committing to growth and spiritual evolution, committing to something larger than ourselves in order to be that larger-than-life divine human being.

So what are YOU practicing??

Its hard for me to believe that its been 35 days straight that I've been meditating!  And though that is actually a short time, relatively speaking, it feels like a major milestone.  I can look back on the last month and see the transformation that is already taking place.  While I'm not up to 30 minutes yet, it amazes me that something so simple as a 20 minute meditation in the morning becomes as necessary and as easy as brushing your teeth.  There are still days where the mind wants to rush to the next task or is just VERY talkative, and yet even after those sessions, I feel a sense of all-encompassing calm within me. 

The last year or so has been one of many challenges for me...a husband trying to pass his Board Exams (had to take them 3 times, poor guy!) and me, trying to manage 2 brand new businesses as well as navigate my way through a fairly new marriage, keeping myself healthy AND continue to cultivate a spiritual practice.  Since meditating, I had discovered that I actually RESISTED meditation and getting quiet...(1) because I thought I was overwhelmed with "things to do" and (2) because I was afraid of what I would find in the quiet.  The latter reason was the most troubling:  I was afraid to find out that I really was inadequate, incompetent, unlovable...

How funny that God shows us otherwise when we do commit to get quiet and connect with that Higher Consciousness!  Through this quiet practice, which I have now come to LOVE, I have recently learned that:

• Time is an illusion, there is only the NOW!   Tasks will get done, or they won't...and tomorrow is another day.
• I am not loved for what I do, I am loved simply for who I am.
• The less I try to control, the more the Universe gives me what I need!
• The more I create space within me, the more I find space in my heart to let others in...and my relationships transform into something magical.
• It is delicious to JUST BE!
• Cultivating quiet during meditation allows for quiet and calm to permeate my being...a fertile ground for miracles to unfold in my life.
• Here, in meditation, is where I can finally understand what it means to LOVE myself!

I used to think that in order to really feel pampered, I would get a massage, pedicure, manicure, facial, etc.  (Okay, I still think that's a good way to pamper myself!), but now I look forward to the ultimate pampering in plugging into my source and tapping into my Divine essesnce through meditation! 

Pardon me, but I have a SPA appointment with God! 

Traditionally, meditation is done either in complete silence or by chanting mantras to calm the mind.  However, if you are at all like me, your mind tends to be incredibly noisy and demands to be heard.  I know for myself personally I find that mantras do work well, but sometimes I prefer the healing power of music instead.  I know that in many yoga classes in the past, its that soothing music in savasana at the end of class that can put me in a deep state of relaxation and bliss, helping me to find the space between the thoughts.  I learned recently that there are kinds of music that help to get our minds into the Alpha and even deeper Delta waves of relaxation...we're not asleep, but calmly conscious and at deep peace.  Essentially I find that any music that has no underlying beat and is very slow and soothing can help me to slow down my breath and help me slip into that state of being.  This week I discovered some old favorite songs that I like to have on in the background that are very effective at coaxing my heart rate and my breathing rate to slow down and thus, encouraging my mind to follow.  I'm still on track, meditating daily, although I'm not up to a full 30 minutes yet, but getting there slowly.  I have noticed that any amount of time gives me benefits that last throughout the day...but I also notice that the longer I sit for meditation, the longer and deeper are the lasting effects.  I had a meeting with a friend over tea recently to tell her of my progress in various areas of my life and she commented that I was glowing and radiant!  In fact, I was exhibiting physical traits and mannerisms that indicated this serene and happy state of mind that I wasn't even aware of!  Its wonderful to be able to see the benefits of your yoga and meditation practice yourself...even more affirming when others notice it!!  And THAT'S how we spread the Light!

Another busy day got me straight out of bed and into work...needed to be there at 7am to prep for a teacher training.  And as I well know, once the day gets started, its very very easy for me to "forget" to sit for meditation.  Too much to do, too much to do, too much to do.  But I found a wonderful quote (that I think I will paste everywhere I can see it!) that says "I have enough time to accomplish everything I desire today...and tomorrow is another day".  A nice reminder that there's ALWAYS enough time for the good things in life, including meditation.

So I finally sit down in the middle of my day to the hum of the dryer and a persistant purring cat nuzzling at my knee.  Thoughts careening around in my head and I wonder if I'll ever truly know what quiet and peace are.   I decided to try a tried-and-true technique:  Mantra.  A mantra is simply a word that you repeat over and over, aloud or in silence, that helps to calm the chatter in your mind.  Today, I need a little louder reinforcement, and I choose the word "Om", the sound of pure loving consciousness...and pretty quickly I find that quiet and my body becomes lighter and lighter.  I feel the healing vibration of sound in my body and it resonates until I become nothing but vibrating energy.  My heart slows, my mind slows, and I find peace in the simplicity of sitting with Om.  I don't know how long I was sitting, but I do know that I have been rewarded with rejuvenation in my body mind and spirit. 

Now...off to ride my bike in the warm spring air!

Well, I had always thought that I had a "decent" meditation practice, but honestly, I knew deep in my heart that I wasn't as dedicated as I could be.  Of course, there are no "shoulds" in this process and no harm done if I didn't do it every day...but I also know that my life could benefit IMMENSELY if I made the commitment.

So I'm in Barnes & Noble one day and picked up a Tricyle magazine and on the cover in big bold letters it said "Commit to Sit!"  I was intrigued and after reading the article decided it was time to get serious!  Oh sure, I had been doing yoga for 9 years, teaching for 4, reading spiritual philosophy and making noted improvements in my life.  And yet, something was missing.  I discovered that I ended up too attached to the physical practice of yoga...wanting a good workout, wanting to get into crow without doing a face-plant on the ground...but where does that get me if I'm still frustrated and irritated with the checkout clerk at the grocery store? 

Thus, I have started meditating each and every morning and so far I've completed 2 weeks and have noticed a slight shift...more BEING and less DOING in my life, which is a wonderful sensation!  Admittedly I still struggle sometimes...some mornings I just want to skip it and get right to work answering emails, some mornings I just want to sleep in longer...but I still "commit to sit" every day, regardless of the time of day and I notice that it helps me to shift into that connection with my higher self and I find that I can cope with life's little "lessons" (i.e. God's daily exam questions...life is a tougher class than I thought!) a little easier each day.

The last few days its been challenging because my mind is chattering overtime about anything and everything and its uncomfortable to sit there when I'm thinking about my TO DO list.  In fact, while I did sit with my hubby for a few minutes today, it wasn't my full 30 minute meditaiton...SO...I'm off to "plug into my source".